First of all, remember that you are Not Alone!  Even if you "feel" that you are..... there will be plenty of people available to assist you in your hours of need.

Don't know where to start?  Don't worry.  Your Funeral Director and Celebrant will assist you in planning the service and will give you some guidelines and ideas to get you started.  However if you have your own ideas then don't be afraid to mention these and to ask questions as you go along. 

First of all, don't underestimate the time that it takes to plan a funeral.  Often there are only a couple of days between your loved one passing away and the date that is decided for the service.  If I can suggest just one thing, it is not to rush the planning process.  If you have a few dates to choose from (and especially if you come from a large family), then you may want to consider the date that is furtherest away.  You only get once chance at this, and you will no doubt want to make it as memorable as you can.

Some of the decisions that need to be made are kind of standard - your funeral director will run you through your options including (but not limited to) burial vs cremation, choice of casket/urn, whether to have the casket present (and if it is to be open or closed), vehicle choices and location options, etc.

Funerals and Memorial Services are very personal and are intended to celebrate our loved ones' lives.  They can include almost anything that you or your loved one wants them to - don't be afraid to discuss your wishes with your funeral director.

Planning a funeral service for a loved one is not always the easiest task on earth, but it can be immensely satisfying and can present opportunities for strengthening relationships within  families.  It is vital not to be afraid to speak up and share your thoughts and ideas.  You may be sitting on a goldmine of an idea that no one else has thought about!  Constant communication with your fellow planners is important to ensure a memorable day for everyone.

Funerals, Memorial Services and Wakes are all opportunities for friends and family to spend time together to celebrate the life of your loved one.  These times can be full of laughter and tears as you recall fun times and sad times...

Just remember that there are no specific "rules" to follow and whatever you do, plan the celebration as if your loved one is there to enjoy it!  For depending on your life beliefs, they may well be - and you will want to do them proud!

Here are a few things you may like to consider when planning a funeral or memorial service:

Music ~

• What music should you play prior to the service as people are arriving?
• How about a reflective piece to ponder your loved ones life during the service?
• Is the service religious or spiritual - do you need to choose hymns or songs for singing?
• The music played at the end of the service is sometimes the most memorable - which song or songs would you like to be played last?
• Take a look at the Music pages for ideas......

Photos ~

• Do you want to display a photo of your loved one on or near the casket?
• What about a slideshow of your loved ones life to play either before or during the service?  This may be suitable in the case when you know that the end is near (and you have plenty of time to prepare this) as these can be rather time consuming to arrange....
• Some people put photo boards together to display in the foyer or at the "wake"
• Pick out a favourite photo (or more) for the rememberance sheet.

Flowers ~

• Most funerals and memorial services will include flowers - somewhere, somehow.
• It is customary to display a bouquet or strands of flowers on top of the casket.  These can be specifically chosen for your loved one based on flower type or colour (depending on the season of course). 
  
• Some people attending funerals like to take flowers along with them.  You can specifically request them not to if you wish, and some even ask that in lieu of flowers a donation is made to an appropriate charitable organisation.
  
• For advice on your floral requirements, contact florists who have listed their services on Not Alone.

Rememberance Sheets ~

• These serve as a keepsake for people attending the funeral and can be personalised as you wish. 
• Your Funeral Director can assist you with producing these, or you may have some talented family members who may wish to design them instead.  If you are on a budget and looking for simple examples, view our templates produced in Microsoft Word (2003).
  
• Like any designed keepsake, these can be as simple or as fancy as you wish, and can include whatever you wish that is appropriate and meaningful to your loved one.
• What about using favourite images for backgrounds? (places or flowers?)
• Most people use one favourite photo of their loved one on the front, and some do a collage of photos elsewhere as well (usually on the back).
• Quotes or poems to be read at the service are usually printed as are any songs or hymns to be sung.  
• Dont forget to include the information regarding the get together after the service (usually referred to as the "wake") should there be one planned.
• If you are keeping a register of those who attended the service (always good for the organisers as you may not get to see everyone who comes along, and you may not know their current address for you to correspond with) you might like to mention that on the rememberance sheet too.